Positive Perspectives on a Lonely Shabbos in Yerushalayim

            Over the past many years I have B”H traveled to Eretz Yisroel many times with the predominant focus of inyanei klal. These trips spanned decades and were invariably allowed me to stay with family or with friends.

            Recently, someone treated me to a Shabbos in a hotel having seen that I went through a very tense and exhausting Yom Tov and knowing that I was coming to Eretz Yisroel for a Motzei Shabbos speaking engagement. My initial reaction was to refuse, although my children have moved back, I still have quite a bit of family that would be extremely happy if I would spend Shabbos with them. Ultimately I acquiesced to his request simply due to the fact that I needed some quiet time which I generally do not have except when I am flying to and fro.

            Knowing that I would be spending Shabbos sitting at a table alone was something that haunted me as I tried to muster the strength to be able to do so. I indeed thought that this would be doable as I am well aware of a multitude of people who are either single, divorced, widowed and spend various Shabbosos without any children, relatives or friends. After reciting Kiddush, eating the fish and then having some soup, it really hit me hard. I looked around the room of couples and families and realized that I can’t do this. One part of me wanted to be invited to someone’s table, although the other part of me just wanted to rest and be alone. As I thought of all the people who do spend Shabbos alone the pain in my heart got deeper and stronger to the point where I started to shed tears. Shabbos is a time of achdus and unity, and sitting at a table alone was a very dreadful experience to say the least.

            Our rabbis teach us אל תדין את חברך עד שתגיע למקומו Don’t judge someone until you are in their place.